


Kahit Pa

by figsoclock



Category: Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: College AU, M/M, Modern AU, cheesy af, gresca, taglish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 03:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17337524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/figsoclock/pseuds/figsoclock
Summary: Si Goyong, si Rusca, at ilang "snapshots" ng kung paano nila pinaghirapang manatiling "sila" noong mga unang taon ng kanilang pagiging magkasintahan, a.k.a. a very cheesy snapshot series of us.





	Kahit Pa

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reinaxregina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinaxregina/gifts).



> **FIRSTLY** : This is dedicated to **Reina**. Belated MALIGAYANG KAARAWAN, REINA DE RUSCA!!!! Sobrang late na to, mga ilang taon, pasensya na. Kahit na nakapagpaalam na ko sayo-- patawad parin. xD Sana ay magustuhan mo. <3  
>  **SECONDLY** : Maraming Salamat kay **Bro (Lui)** for helping me edit in its infancy, and kay **Tere** for reading over it!!! SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO **KYOY** FOR BETAREADING TWICE, ILY KAPITAN TOTO. That said, any and all mistakes are mine!  
> This is also a homage to the twitterserye/bayaniserye gresca **@captainrusca** and **@hnrlgdp** and their respective admins. MABUHAY KAYO. For keeping twitter gresca alive for 3 years going on 4— all my love and thanks.  
> For **grescuad** : Maraming salamat, inspirasyon ko kayo at mga gawa niyo nung sinusulat ko to. Thanks for keeping the love alive!!!  
> Ni-reference ko rin ang Famylia ni **Creja** dito. Labyu.  
>  **THIRDLY** : This fic is cheese. This fic is Manuel Quezon de Bola in fic form. :)))))  
>  ** _Disclaimer_** _: I do not own Heneral Luna, or the fictional representations of irl historical figures figured here. I only play in the sandbox._

* * *

 If someone were to take note of key events in Goyong and Rusca’s relationship so far, it would go like this:

* * *

 

**the time goyong wrote rusca cheesy lyrics**

 

It wasn’t Goyong's own words (he tended to write Rusca short, sappy pieces of poetry), which was why Rusca remembered it. Well that, and it was one of their favorite songs.

On a post-it note stuck to Rusca’s wonky laptop, it read:

_Hindi ko man hawak ang panahon_  
_Maging ang ikot ng buhay_  
_Basta't ikaw, at ikaw pa rin  
Ikaw, at ikaw pa rin_

* * *

 

**the time goyong came over**

 

"O, anong ginagawa mo dito?"

On Goyong's face was the devastating smile that made hundreds of boys and girls alike say _yes_. "Movie?"

Too bad it didn't (always) work on Rusca. He raised an eyebrow in response.  "Horror na naman ba yan--"

"Isang beses, isang beses lang yun! Hanggang ngayon ba naman, isusumbat mo parin sa'kin--" Goyong started to complain, waving his hand furiously in protest. His other hand was carrying a plastic bag of DVDs, their favorite drinks, chips, and a paper bag of Rusca's favorite ensaymada.

Rusca watched all this with sleep-crusted eyes and struggled to prevent his smile from becoming too sappy. _Jusko, cool ka lang, Eduardo_. "Oo na, oo na, pumasok ka na nga."

Goyong beamed like a child who was told that Christmas had come early. He stole a kiss when he was close enough, and made a face immediately after. "Love, you haven't brushed your teeth yet."

Rusca laughed hard and started coughing, cheeks turning red from embarrassment. Goyong gently started to pat him on the back in worry. "Ed--"

"A-ayos lang ako." A wheeze. "Pa-love-love ka pa dyan--"

Goyong pouted. "Totoo naman ah."

Rusca shook his head, fighting a grin. He recognized the other boy’s visit for what it was, Goyong not wanting him to be lonely after getting suspended (again) for punching Mascardo (again).

"Ba't nga pala ang aga-aga mo?"

"Hm? Oh, nag-skip ako."

"GOYONG!"

 

* * *

 

**the time someone eavesdropped on them**

 

"Ano, uh, paano ko ba..." Goyong was looking to the side, pretty shade of pink on his face, scratching the nape of his neck.

The sun was shining through the trees, dappling at a perfect angle upon Rusca's warm brown skin and giving it an ethereal glow. _Oh, wow. Fuck, cool your jets, Gregorio. Am I turning red? Fuck._

Rusca raised an eyebrow. He seemed to do that a lot around Goyong. He also looked like he was fighting a smile, but Goyong would take a smile or a laugh _(or a kiss. Shut up, Gregorio!)_ instead of a punch to the face any day. His pride may not be able to handle it, but he'd take those instead of being grouped in with Mascardo, thanks. "Paano…?"

"...Paano… ko ba to… sisimulan?" he asked. _Lame. Why am I so uncool? Should've just sang something, vocalista ako tangina--_

Rusca raised his other eyebrow, and Goyong almost winced. "Isang tanong siguro?"

"Ah." Goyong nodded.

"Mm-hmm." Rusca mirrored him, the corners of his mouth still twitching.

_Wow, his mouth. Wait, pinagtatawanan niya ba ko? Well, I'd laugh at me too, honestly_. "...Tayo na?" he asked, voice breaking at the last word. This time, he winced. _Sobrang uncool, gago_.

Rusca nodded sagely. "Tayo na."

Goyong looked gobsmacked. But he hoped, in a good way. "Tayo na--!"

They both jumped at the cheer from the copse of trees to their right. There was some very intense rustling, several cracking branches, a heavy thud and a loud "Oof!" before they both realized it was Nonong, and not Julian or Jose Bernal (Paco and Kuya Manuel were too dignified to eavesdrop like this).

"PUNYETA!!!! QUEZON!!!!" Goyong yelled, stepping away to run after his cackling younger brother, but quickly turning back to Rusca when he remembered that _Rusca had said yes_ \-- "Ah--"

Only to find that Rusca had come closer ( _Much closer. Holy shiyet._ ) and they were nose to nose now. "Um."

Rusca grinned and kissed him.

 

* * *

**the time they argued**

 

"--Yun nga eh, ayoko lang na biglang mag-iba ang tingin mo sa ‘kin--" Rusca said, gesturing in agitation.

"Hindi naman ah--" Goyong defended, not understanding what Rusca's point was. Even before they got together, they were friends, and Goyong had always given his friends gifts.

Rusca raised an eyebrow ( _that eyebrow again_ ) and looked at the gifts -- nearly everything in romantic colors (reds and pinks and whites), the flowers (some already dried but still in their vases), the chocolates and bread boxes (because Rusca loved sweets and bread) -- all evidence of a serious courtship.

Goyong followed his gaze. "...Ah."

"Hindi? Hindi talaga?"

"Hindi." Goyong was suddenly in front of him. "Bumabawi lang." Goyong kissed him and rapidly ran away. "Byeeeeee~"

"PUNYETA GOYONG!"

 

* * *

**the time insecurities surfaced ~~and they argued again~~**

 

"Ano bang problema mo sa mga ibinibigay ko sa’yo?"

"Hindi naman sa hindi ko, uh, nagugustuhan, o--" Rusca stammered.

Goyong sighed, frustrated. "O, eh di bakit--"

"Kasi… nakakakaba lang. Natatakot ako."

It was obvious on Goyong's face that he really couldn’t understand, but that he was worried and he wanted to immediately banish Rusca's fears.

Rusca took a deep breath. "Ganito ang trato mo sa mga babae't lalaki mo dati." He didn't need to add, _Paano kung ganun lang din ako para sa’yo?_ Goyong could clearly hear the words Rusca wasn't saying.

_Aray._

Rusca rubbed his forehead. "...Kaya nga ayoko sanang sabihin sa’yo eh."

Goyong laughed softly. "Ikaw pa. Sasabihin mo rin naman sa akin yan, pinilit lang kita na ngayon mo na sabihin."

Rusca laughed as quietly as Goyong did. "Ah... Siguro nga." He looked to the side, turning slightly red. "...Kilalang-kilala mo ako, ano?"

Goyong stepped closer, reaching out to hold Rusca's wrist. He slowly rubbed his thumb back and forth across Rusca's jumping pulse and pressed his forehead against the other man’s. "Para lang ng pagkakakilala mo sa’kin."

Goyong brought Rusca's hand close to his mouth and continued, "...Alam ko ang mga pagkukulang ko. For the most part, ikaw rin ang nagpa-realize sakin nun. Seryoso ako nung sinabi kong seryosohan na ‘to, Ed. Kahit papaano ay may natitira pa akong dangal. Alam kong alam mo yun.” _Sana_ , he added to himself.

"Humihiling ako na pagbigyan mo ulit ako. Humihiling ako na hayaan mo akong makabawi sa'yo."

He looked into Rusca's eyes, pleading.

"Papayagan mo ba ito?" _Papayagan mo ba ako?_

 

* * *

**the time they had an understanding**

 

"Punyeta kasi, huwag mo naman laging ipinagkakalat ang mga nangyayari sa'ting dalawa--"

"Hindi ko naman ipinagkakalat, nag-e-express lang ako ng feelings ko--"

"--Sa harap ng ilang daang tao? Talaga lang ha!"

Goyong smirked one of his truly annoying trademark smirks. "Nagseselos ka ba?"

"Pu _tang ina_ , Gregorio--!"

Goyong's face suddenly turned serious. "Alam mo namang dito ko lang talaga nadadaan ang damdamin ko."

Rusca sighed, "Hindi talaga." _Alam ko._ Rusca came closer and pressed his palm to Goyong's cheek, rubbing his thumb across it once, twice. "Pwede mo kasi akong kausapin. Yung tayo-tayo lang. Pwede mo bang gawin yun?" _Kahit subukan mo lang._

Goyong caught Rusca's hand and kissed his palm. "Sige." _Kaya ko._

Another kiss.

"Sige." _Para sa'yo._

 

* * *

**the time rusca shut goyong up**

 

"Alam mo, Goyong, hindi naman porket nag-away tayo, eh ibig sabihin break na tayo agad--" Rusca raised an eyebrow. _Damn that eyebrow sometimes, seriously._

"Alam ko!"

Rusca stared at him, unconvinced.

Goyong looked insulted.

Rusca rolled his eyes and kissed Goyong, who startled at the action. "Oo na, naiintindihan ko." _Hindi ka sanay na hindi agad nauuwi ang kaunting drama sa paghihiwalay._ "Sige ah, sabihin ko sa Ingles."

"Punyeta, Ed--"

"A fight isn't a failure. And just because we had a fight doesn't mean we're giving up on each other."

Goyong opened his mouth, shut it quickly, and kissed him.

 

* * *

**the time goyong’s fears surfaced**

 

"Alam mo… mahirap ‘tong sabihin, pero alam mo naman na pwede kang umalis kahit kailan mo gusto, diba?"

Goyong stopped tuning his guitar and stared at Rusca in disbelief. "...Nakikipag-break ka na ba sa’kin?"

"Hindi! Kakasabi nga lang na mahirap sabihin eh. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na… kahit na maghiwalay tayo bilang magboypren, ayos pa rin sa'kin na manatili tayong magkaibigan - tulad ng dati."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Magsalita ka naman, Greg."

In a very soft voice, "Wala ka pa ring tiwala sa'kin." _At hindi kita masisisi._

"Goyong..."

"Hindi tayo maghihiwalay. Hindi yun mangyayari." _Hindi ko gustong mangyari yun. Hindi ko hahayaang mangyari yun._

"Hindi ko rin gustong maghiwalay tayo, aba'y sino ba ang unang nag-kagusto sa'ting dalawa, ha? Sinasabi ko lang--"

Goyong grabbed his face firmly and stared him down with burning eyes. "At sinasabi ko ngang _hindi_."

 

* * *

**the time goyong called rusca**

 

The phone was ringing. A click. The voice that answered it sounded sleep-rough, like the person had just woken up. "'lo? Gr'g?"

A pause. The faint sounds of traffic. The revving of cars, honking of horns, and screeching of tires. The unmistakable sounds of impatient jeepney and bus drivers rushing on the road.

Rusca frowned, waking up a little more. "Greg? Ok ka lang?"

"...Nagising kita. Pasensya na."

A loud yawn, mingled with a rough sleepy laugh. "M'l'mang. P'ro 'yos l'ng. 'nong nangyari?"

Soft laughter. "Wala. Gusto ko lang marinig boses mo."

Goyong heard Rusca snort, and he could almost see the exact face Rusca was making as he tried not to smile. "Waw. Sweet mo naman."

"Kelan ba ako hindi sweet?" Goyong joked.

But Rusca could tell that something was lacking in the attempted joke. Seconds of silence passed by with the both of them just listening to each other’s breathing. In a quiet voice, like he's already nodding off, Rusca asked, "Pauwi ka na ba?"

"...Oo. Pauwi na," Goyong answered just as quietly. "Sorry. Matulog ka na ulit, Ed. Magkita na lang tayo bukas."

Rusca yawned again, obviously a second away from going back to sleep. " 'ngat, Gr'g."

"...Salamat. Magandang gabi."

Rusca forgot to hang up, and Goyong didn't either, listening to Rusca's calm and deep breathing. In and out, in and out. He closed his eyes and he could see in his mind's eye the mess of the pillows and blanket on the bed, and the image of his lover starfished in the very center.

Goyong smiled. He stayed on the line as he hailed a taxi and got inside, even as he arrived home, prepared for bed, and went to sleep, a small smile on his face, his breathing matching Rusca's on the other line in perfect sync.

 

* * *

**the time they broke up**

 

"Wala talaga siya rito?"

Paco sighed. Goyong has been making Paco sigh a number of times now, but he can't even apologize, because--

"Wala talaga si Rusca dito, del Pilar. Kahit halungkatin mo pa ang kusina namin."

Goyong cursed. He took out his phone and sent another text to Rusca. _Nasan ka ba, Ed?_

"...Naisip mo na ba na baka ayaw niyang magpahanap?" Paco asked pointedly.

His grip on the paper bag full of ensaymadas tightened. "Oo, pero kailangan kong magpaliwanag--"

"Kailangan niya din ng space, del Pilar--"

"Hindi pwedeng dito kami mauwi." _Hindi pwedeng maghiwalay kami, hindi, hindi, hindi_ \--

Paco fell silent, watching Goyong curse at his cellphone while sending another text, and another, and trying to call Rusca again--

"Hindi ko na itatanong kung anong nangyari," Paco suddenly said. Goyong ignored him, all attention directed at the phone in his hands. "Parang alam ko na. Pero sa tingin ko lang, masyadong madalas na itong nagaganap. Hindi na ‘to healthy para sa inyo, at lalo na para kay Rusca na hindi sanay sa ganito.” _Di tulad mo._

"Baka mas maganda kung mag-break muna kayo."

Goyong stopped. "Ano," he said, a dangerous warning in his tone.

_Hay naku_ , Paco thought. "Hindi ako naghahanap ng gulo, del Pilar. At hindi naman sa tuluyan kayong maghihiwalay. Kung gustuhin niyo, break lang na parang KitKat--"

"Nangako ako, Roman," Goyong snapped, voice rising. "Putang INA, NANGAKO AKO--!"

"Nakita ko naman," Paco calmly interjected. Goyong fell quiet, the paperbag almost ripping in his hand. "Nakita ko kung gaano mo sinisikap manatiling tapat para kay Rusca. Para sa inyo.”

He paused before adding, "At kung ako nga napansin yun, tiyak ako na nakita din yun ni Rusca."

Goyong didn't even notice that he was shaking until he felt Paco's hand on his back.

"Pero, del Pilar... Baka hindi lang talaga pwede."

The tears prickling in Goyong's eyes fell and he started to cry. _Putang ina naman._ Of all the people that would see him like this, why did it have to be Rusca's best friend? Of all the people who would tell him the things he never _ever_ wanted to hear, why did it have to be the one who was practically a brother to Rusca? _Of all the people Ed could love, gago, bakit si Goyong pa?_ Of all the things he could be, why did it have to be selfish--

Because even if Goyong knew that everything Paco said was right, even if Goyong knew that all Rusca would get from him was all kinds of hurt, even if Goyong loved Rusca so much that he would do anything for him--

The one thing he could never do for Rusca was to let him go. _Hinding-hindi. Hin--_

_Hindi makatarungan_ , Goyo thought, while sobbing into both his hands, the bag of ensaymadas torn apart and forgotten on the ground. _Hindi talaga_.

 

* * *

**the time rusca went to goyong's concert**

 

"Ang kantang ito ay para saking iniirog na kasintahan--"

Screams erupted, along with a very long, very sharp whistle (from no other than the younger Bernal). Goyong noticed a group of girls near the stage who were screeching and shaking each other's arms and shoulders in frenzy.

His grin widened and he continued, "Ngunit hindi kayo yun, magagandang binibini. Pasensya na," and threw out a wink.

The screams rose in volume and the crowd, especially the group of girls, went wild where they stood-- _lagi namang umeepekto yun eh_ \-- but he definitely didn't expect the shout of "OKEY LANG! BASTA KAYO NI RUSCA!"

All he could do was laugh. "Uy, narinig mo yun, beh? Basta ikaw daw." He turned his gaze to Rusca, whom he could tell from the moment he stepped on the stage, was standing near the back. _Kahit saan talaga, ikaw agad ang hinahanap ng mga mata ko_.

As he expected, Rusca was cackling like a madman, sat beside the Bernal brothers who were both practically falling out of their seats from laughing so hard. Paco was also present on Rusca's other side. He raised a bottle to Goyong in salute. Beside him, Joven smiled and nodded at Goyong when he turned to them.

Goyong smiled. "Tama naman sila eh."

The screeching from the group of girls was deafening.

Rusca stopped cackling. Their gazes met; Goyong, smirking but with utmost seriousness in his eyes, and Rusca, startled and slowly turning red. He looked like he couldn't believe what he was hearing, but there was still that spark in his eyes that seemed to say _I dare you_.

And Goyong never backed down from a challenge.

"Para sa'yo ‘to, Ed. Kahit pa."

**Author's Note:**

>  **3 YEARS AGO** : Ilang bagay: Bunga ng narinig ko ‘tong kantang to ulit at sumagi sa isip ko na pwede siyang sagot sa, o continuation ng, kantang Gitara. Also, mejo magkahawig ang lead singer ng Hale na si Champ at si Paulo Avelino (para sakin, ok, ssshhh). May mga references ako dito sa ibang gresca fanfic na nabasa ko (maliban sa sinulat ni Reina). Sa totoo lang hindi ko namalayan na na-reference ko yung mga yun hanggang pinabasa ko to kay Lui (na tinulungan akong mag-edit) at hinampas nya ang braso ko kasi walang ya daw ako bakit yung linyang yun nanaman o mai gudnes ang sakit parin. Dumoble tuloy ito na homage sa inyong Grescuad-- MABUHAY KAYO!!!  
> Pasensya na kung may mali sa grammar o sa pagka-/pagkawala ng hyphen. OTL  
> Isa pa, last na to: warning, mahilig talaga ako sa sobrang cheesy na bagay-bagay ok  
>  **AFTER 3 YEARS/NOW, CURRENTLY** : So ayun yung unang Author’s Notes. Yung pinapakinggan kong playlist while writing & editing this. **[click here!](https://open.spotify.com/user/mcsuan/playlist/6roJ1OueB8NU1gw8Izdxuz?si=dYNfkKIKTvmJpG7_Tv_YJQ)** (Kahit Pa —> Waltz, since 2k15. Nadagdag yung Buwan—> Languyin, lately lang na-add.)  
> So mga ano, started writing bits & pieces of this nung late 2k15. continued writing most of this (especially the break up scene) while i was on a cab going to a lakad nung mga 2k16. Tapos naka-tengga sya for 2-3 years. Finally finished it last night. HAHAHA. It's been so long, hindi na ko sure kung alin specifically yung mga nareference ko (please comment or message if naalala nyo and i will give due credit), so I'm gonna assume it's ALL OF THEM. ALL OF YOU. GRESCUAD, THANK YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HYPOTHALAMUS. REINA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE. LABYU OL.


End file.
